Difficult People

Team play has come a long way and is here to stay. The management gurus all over the world would have you forever pretense that getting along with your colleagues and bosses runs in your blood. But let's be honest honey, how congenial can you be with everyone around at the workplace? There tend to be those whom you find difficult, and where despite your best intentions, you simply can't get along. Your problem could be a client frequently using foul language, a constantly monitoring boss, a lazy team-member, or even an accurately depressed coworker. So, how do you tackle the difficulty? 

Step One, Change your perception. Don't call these people difficult, call them a challenge; your grave situation will suddenly become invigorating. You tune your mind positively and find a solution.  

Now, prepare to listen to your challenges. Seek to understand their personality traits like why they want to work to be done in a particular manner, how they visualize a project etc. If you truly understand the other person, often you will see a solution in the challenge or will have empathy for them and not feel as threatened. Check yourself from saying a revolting"NO". As you understand their intentions better, try being fair to their judgments and ask yourself what is actually stopping you from doing things the way they want it. If you can't come up with a great rationale, try following their course of actions, you might just happen to like it. 

Still, find it tough? Relax. Question yourself what is that you do not like in the situation. Be specific. Focus on the problem and not the person. Don't fret the small stuff. It is not a crime to have a constant running nose or slurp tea loudly, even if that irritates you no end. Just for fun, try accepting people around you the way they are. Resign from being the general manager of the world, let people be as get are. Stop controlling and your life will become much easier and simpler. If you can come this far, the rest of the march should be much easier for you since you have already broken initial resistance. Ask"what about this person or situation is good".

There will always be something about everyone and every situation that is positive and you can be pleasantly surprised. Try to find out how could you solve this challenge or how could dealing with this person be good. 

However, when everything fails, avoid the situation. Often someone might tough for you to communicate with or be challenging to deal with but someone else might deal with them easily. Can it be better if somebody else was dealing with it? If your answer is yes, perhaps you can spend your time and energy somewhere else. 

I dealt with very similar personality in my personal life . No Matter what you do , in their eyes you always did wrong and can never be good enough . I kept trying as the "Be Positive" approach kept me going but after 11 months of absolute insanity , I decided one day with a very heavy heart that enough is enough and its going to be much better to stay alone and walk-away than being together and feeling miserable. Some individuals are scared of people getting close to them due to self in-securities from past relationships or sad no parent listening to them childhoods. You can try but can't help them if they aren't willing to help themselves. Cried, felt sad but in the end , head held high and did the right thing rather than being in it getting used for good. 

Bottom Line: If you find it hard to tackle difficult people then there is no need to stay disturbed. Keep your Mental peace and walk away.