Caring ! Have I lost my real self In process to self-love ?

What makes someone hard-hearted? Maybe they grew up with “hard” parents who never showed love or affection. They could've had difficult circumstances throughout life and developed a shell to avoid any further hurt or critique. Perhaps they feel unloved and unwanted and therefore need to shield themselves from anything that could be hurtful. Or they could be brainwashed—i.e., affiliated with a religious group or political party that teaches people not to think for themselves, and instead adopt and continually validate a certain viewpoint.

Being the soft-hearted one can be a difficult burden to bear. In many cases, the harder person is also a narcissist; very self-involved and self-interested. You might try and get them to care somehow by crying, or ranting, or yelling or threatening, and they will merely say, “Stop attacking me” or “Stop your haranguing." They are masterful at deflecting, and in your vain attempts to get them to care, you will often find that they turn it on you and make you the difficult one.

You have probably heard or read the research on the different roles people can play in relationships: a giver, taker, or matcher. Givers, well, they give a lot. Takers take a lot, and matchers try and keep score of the give and take.

When it comes to caring, the people most likely to be there for you when you need them are, of course, the givers. They are the ones in life who can never do enough for those in need. Unfortunately, in many cases, they are attracted to takers: “That person really needs me,” so they get stuck in a relationship where all they do is give to their own emotional and physical exhaustion.

But what I am trying to explain here is in regards to myself. I am not the one who just gives or just takes but someone who does care but cares in a way which probably to many just might not sound or feel caring enough. I am not the one who will call you and ask to find out are you back home
, unless the time I think you should be back you are not. Does it makes sense ?. 

Let me try another way. There are three types of people in this world. One: Who absolutely does not care. Two: Who do a lot. Three (my type): We Love you. We care for you but we will probably won't show the way the 2nd type actually feels we should.  It's not that we do not try but it is something that is based on trust, a little carefree attitude and not building a little cage. 

Is it wrong for a Person of TYPE 2 to go out with TYPE 3, probably NOT .  I am just trying to analyze myself in regards to my encounter with TYPE 2 . Before that I was with TYPE 1 who actually did not bother after a while and when I started to become TYPE 2 , I was told things. Example - A) Stop being possessive. B) Do not treat me like a child . C) You never did this before. D) It's just too much of information to give. 

On one hand I was confused as what I am doing was wrong but on the other, I had little idea as what exactly she meant. All I wanted to know was,"how is she as I cared about her well-being." What can you do if you have found yourself in a relationship where you have done everything you think you can to make your partner care and they just simply don’t respond, or worse, they accuse you of being the problem because you “won’t leave them alone?" 

Your giving nature is admirable and has probably helped more people than you can count, but you need to take care of yourself and stop trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change. Leopards are born leopards and won’t change their spots. You can ignore their behaviour, stop being hurt by their actions, and turn your attention to something that really matters. But what actually happened to me in the process is that I feel I have lost my real self who cared and have become who cares less anyway. It is absolutely something I don't want about myself and trying each day to become the same as I was.

Please Consider this When dealing with me :

1) If you choose to stay, forgive me as a person for being so hard-hearted and see that I am missing out on the best part of life: the love of others, and compassion. Try and see what sadness and emptiness have led me to this. Do consider the hurt this person must have had to be so angry and empty toward others. I am aware of who I am and I am working on myself each day to be a better version of myself and with each second of our relationship.

2) Being with me initially in this phase you might get hurt. So, find support elsewhere. The wonderful thing about being a soft-hearted giver is that other people usually want to be around you. They know your friendly spirit and your genuine care for others. My family and friend is where you can pour out your soft heart and have people who appreciate you and support you for it. I will join the gang eventually. Please do wait for a little!

3) Embrace your soft heart. A soft-hearted giver can often be left feeling they are the weak one, or the stupid one. In fact, the hard-hearted seem to enjoy treating the soft-hearted like they have no smarts. Know that you are smart. You are probably very intuitive and sincere. These are the qualities that, if all human beings espoused them, would make this world a very different place to live in!  

I will be with you in all this and accept all that has happened in this due course. To all the plans and all the moments which we believe we can have, I will make it happen. Hopefully, you will be the one who understands and have this level of patience. The last one changed me a lot and took away my smile and jokes and in-return gave this shield on heart. But I assure you , a little effort and love will pierce it through .