3 Mistakes Men Make when not Confident

 

In my lifetime I had many relationships and have always been someone who was never short of female attention . It's not like I drove fancy cars or had truck loads of cash but because I had a game . The game was pretty simple as I had nothing to lose really , so I never really cared about how many girls were calling me or asking me to meet . I never CHASED anyone . 

But when I decided to get settled , I decided to actually gave my all to the lady. My undivided attention and my pure Love which I had not given to anyone yet . Believe it or not , this was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made . Her turning out to be narcissistic also never helped my cause . Me being Living,breathing man of confidence became so low that I started acting like a pure simp. This happened because I was in Love with her and started chasing her . 

A man in love crosses all boundaries , especially if you are married. If your partner is not that into you like you are in her then we have a serious problem . Which exactly was my case. I loved her , she liked me. I continued loving her and she still kept loving her Ex and started disliking and eventually disrespecting me. Let me cut it down for you :

                      Liking ended - Respect Ended - Exit Strategy - Exit Plan - Exit implemented. 

The questions to which I had no logical reason for a very long time are : Why did I continue to chase , pursue to make our relationship work when she showed me little to no-interest ? Why I kept continuing to try and make our marriage work when she was disrespectful,liar, kept things hidden, not at all being cooperative and always giving me hard time ?

I was never like this . I have always let women walk-away if they did that all my life , so what was so different this time. The answer to this after 1 year of deep self-analysis is the mental and emotional abuse from her. All women before her responded to my efforts in a more or less same manner as they were healthy human beings . Whereas she being a damaged woman or a Covert Narcissistic individual did not. This abuse,infinite love and commitment to the concept of marriage actually me locked in this "low-confidence male" state. 

Therefore , all my actions directly contributed in me chasing , doing extra extra more , crying and at time begging her to make it work . Here are the 3 things I never made before I was in a LTR :

1) Interpreting Wrong Desirability  - It's modern times . A girl today asking for your phone number does not mean to be your girlfriend. It can be as little as a crush or nothing at all. If you keep texting her again and again to meet , she might even lose that interest. Pursuing a girl is still chasing . 

This texting is sending her away than calling her close. If she has an interest she will respond. Give how much you are getting back. This even works after you have the girl. Over-texting can make her feel you are too needy,she might lose an interest and your value can go down the spiral . 

She loses respect the desire goes down and her desire to make love to you will end . Always commit to the level she is committed and give her as much as she is giving you . This is not a Disney or Rab ne Bana Di Jodi Movie . It's real life and things can change pretty quickly. If she is not responding , just let her be and let her go. 

You are better without her than with her .It aint a loss at all . Never ever do this because you are just wasting time and that undeserving woman is getting her Ego boost. Women love men chasing them . The more you try the more she will get away . She will respond if she thinks you are the man. If she is not putting in effort and meeting you halfway , WALK !! . 

2) Do Not Negotiate your way - I never did  before but in my LTR I tried to negotiate with her . Trying to convince her that look I love you and we are suppose to make it work . I have a good job , I have a good car so I am your right fit. You should never beg for a second chance . You should never try to resolve an issue with woman of your own . 

If she is not interested then no counselling and wise words will make her do that. If she has already made up her mind then your game is over. Accept it as soon as you can. There is also a chance which I think happened in my case where for few weeks she actually said I am trying because she did pity me. But eventually this is what happens when you negotiate with such a terrorist . I was trying so hard.

 I loved her and thought I am only trying to make it better and bring our relationship on track. But I forgot that if she loved me she will not make this hard for me. She will sit-down as well and sort it out if she wants to rather than me being the one pursing her to do that. By doing I further sunk and she lost every inch of respect . Real woman loves you and she will never make you beg , plead , negotiate with her. She has to be happy with you and excite her every single time you make a plan be it just another movie watch. It's about the fire of passion , love , desire and commitment she needs to have from within. 

If she has something or somebody else on her mind no divine energy can help you . What you can do and what eventually I did was accept the faith and stopped giving her reactions . Took time to accept. The lady I loved does not want me and keeping my little left self-respect intact I decided to give her what she wanted. It broke me as a man . I could see it coming for a very long period of time . One week into our lawful alliance I knew she has made a fool of me and of her but as I was legally bound and in Love I decided to give all I could. I was very upset for the first few months but every time I looked at her something made me stay a little longer . Then this took me over and her abuse made me weak and lose the plot.  Negotiating with a woman will always backfire and low confidence man is not desired at all.

3) Trying to Buy her - Never ever boost your chest with all your accomplishments all the time. Do not lead with your wallet . Everytime you cannot show that fancy car ,talk about the price of your shoes . You do that and trust my friend you will get used for it. All these traits are characteristics of a low value , less confident man. I remember being in college I was from an average middle-class household . But I had this confidence about myself which did get me more girls who would take me in there cars as I did not had one. 

When you know you are good enough package there is no need to go above and beyond.It's like a transactional sex for women . Which you are going to get because she is going to take a lot from you for that. Even in my LTR , I felt multiple times that my love making was emotional whereas for her it was either her own desire or granted to me as a prize . Prize for doing something she wanted. Attractive confident man will know his worth and what they bring to the table . 

You will get a woman like who will be constantly asking you to take her places , holidays etc ; rather than spending quality time with you and knowing you more. Real man pays for everything , real man buys her this /that . No bloody way !  Confident man won't . She will give passionate sex to the guy who gives her almost nothing and make her desire him . She used to make me take her out every single weekend and it was just me paying for everything . I have made these mistakes but again she was my wife whom I loved.  But the day came and she left and also took everything. 

It is not easy to survive such an abuse but bigger is the void you will have thinking what you did wrong. Keep your head high , learn and be wise next time. World has healthy good women but the possibility of you hitting wrong one is much more if you are not vigilant enough .