Real Men Do Cry

 "Boys don't cry " was put in head when I was a kid and in school and then "Men don't cry" for the rest of the life . But this is the most bullshit statement you can come across.  I remember how every single time I felt something in my eyes , how I wiped it off. 

Crying in front of your friend's meant you are going to be the topic of discussion for every conversation . This is exact same reason when I actually felt pain in my LTR , I was more embarrassed about me as a man crying than the situation I was in . I remember not having words and wondering what I would answer with if she asks. But then I felt the tears forming, and suddenly, all I could think about was that I was about to cry sitting on the couch in complete darkness. 

The pain I felt that night was harder than I felt when I had dislocated my shoulder . With her in the other room, I could not even scream and could not even sulk for long. That is the day when I realised that I still have a side which I thought died long back.  The most saddest and sickeing part of this entire time was the one I was crying for actually mocked me for doing it .  But never tried to stop making me feel that way . How is a man supposed to express when he is sad ??

And I can only tell you that next time if you see a man is crying please tell him it is alright . If possible hug a little and tell him everything will be ok. Lend an ear and you will know what made this rock melt . I have come across myself as someone who  will cry in pain and in joy . I remember crying in school when we lost in the finals in sheer pain but then crying in absolute joy when after years ARSENAL FC won a trophy . 

Crying multiple times watching 50 first dates and relating to a character in DARK how I screamed in my apartment and vented all out . Tears are an emotion shared by males and by females. If Man was not meant to cry why will the nature give him tears in the first place . Telling Boys not to cry is actually teaching them to keep feelings hidden . This is wrong because these boys will tomorrow become man who will find a way to express and every chance it's a violent way , drug overdose or becoming workaholic . 

If a kid watches his father cry then he can relate to it . It's just a form of expression and feelings are being shared and brought out . Do you want men who are an empath , loving , caring or rude and cold . Crying is not a weakness at all . Kids can take example from that and should be told it's alright making them sensitive and not insensitive in the modern world . 

I moved to Mumbai in the July 2019 and it became on the Nov1st 2019 that I have to accept it and the plans I made for someone will not become true. But then a strange thing happened. I remember feeling depressed all the time, and I didn’t know how to put it into words. I didn’t know what to do with the feelings and emotions I was experiencing. I was losing the focus and going down day by day and almost ended up ruining my dream job . I had worked so hard all my life to get there and I could see it drifting way.

I started my therapy sessions. Yes ! I did. I had reached a stage where I was losing focus and would just be sad and quiet all day. I had pretty much messed it all up at my office. The dream job for which I had worked so hard was drifting away from my hand and I was becoming weaker by the day mentally in my head. That is when I decided enough is enough and I need help . I started going to this amazing therapist and slowly slowly I started opening up to her . Narrating her incidents my own fears came out , my own childhood stories and I would end up crying in the sessions. 

At first I was ashamed but then she explained as why it's alright to cry and shed tears.  With each session I became stronger and would end up with tears almost every single time but this time I would not wipe them off. Every single of them had a feeling of sadness and pain which went away from my body and I was happy doing it . I felt lighter , calmer and at peace when I did . I now do cry when I am feeling pain or joy. Be it a movie or a match or just someone in tough times . I do not suppress my feelings anymore. 

I think not like the woman I loved but I am sure there will be someone who will like this side of mine .  Maybe it will be a change she has seen for the first time where the guy is actually expressing the way he knows best and a little sensitive for some topics than putting up brave man face all the time. 

We men are humans too and have a heart and feelings as well. There are times when that strong man you know cannot hold his emotions inside anymore . Men do break down mentally and that is when it is Ok to vent and release those negative emotions and feelings. If a woman can cry then a man can to .  If you see me or any man crying tomorrow , please do not mock or laugh . We are Human beings as well .