Experiences of Life

  When I was in school, college the very first time I felt something for a girl was a very unique,different and amazing feeling at the same time. It took me almost 2 weeks to just go and introduce myself to this girl I liked in my high school. Every single thing we did after , I said or planning a pizza date with her required efforts , thought , talking to friends about ideas and also many of them playing  the wingman .  Approaching her to ask ,'will you be my gf?" , was more tougher of a task than to solve trigonometry. And the fear of being embarrassed if she said NO was much higher than the Pride , Name & Fame if she said 'YES" . But still we used to do it . It was fun .  But today how the entire dating scene has been disrupted by just swiping right is just ridiculous. 3,4 Years back it all just bombarded and the initial taboo towards it just went down the barrel. Tinder , Bumble, Instagram,snapchat and basically all these social media apps have now become more

  In my lifetime I had many relationships and have always been someone who was never short of female attention . It's not like I drove fancy cars or had truck loads of cash but because I had a game . The game was pretty simple as I had nothing to lose really , so I never really cared about how many girls were calling me or asking me to meet . I never CHASED anyone .  But when I decided to get settled , I decided to actually gave my all to the lady. My undivided attention and my pure Love which I had not given to anyone yet . Believe it or not , this was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made . Her turning out to be narcissistic also never helped my cause . Me being Living,breathing man of confidence became so low that I started acting like a pure simp. This happened because I was in Love with her and started chasing her .  A man in love crosses all boundaries , especially if you are married. If your partner is not that into you like you are in her then we have a serious problem .

  Most people I have known , met and even with being ones actually thought they are perfect for being in a relationship or absolutely fit for a long term commitment like marriage . There have been times in my life where I thought I was a great guy or what an amazing partner I will be for someone . The times when you actually feel that your needs are met by someone and understanding the needs of your partner is the time when you should actually feel you are ready. I took a call for LTR only then but my partner in the end turned out to be something else and it became a wrong a call and I almost made another recently but now I can spot red flags. ThankYou Exes !  I was a believer that I have to keep giving my everything . My absolute love to the partner and keep giving giving giving and be the martyr . They can ignore , scream,shout do whatever but one day they will realise and meet me halfway . This is one of the biggest mistakes I made in my early part of lives and even to some extent i

  A lot has been learnt by me over the period of last 2 years , especially in these pandemic self introspection times.  But what has been my over-all game when it comes to girls in general . How was I able to actually not have much coaching from anyone but still get girls during my younger days and now is something I thought about a lot in this pandemic times and also as what exactly I did wrong in my LTR and how much can I blame her for it .  The end result to this thought was pretty eye-opening when I started digging deep and checking the same with my mentors and reading different studies .  My LTR partner was carrying previous relationship baggage and since I found proof about it and her being proven covert-narcissist individual  made me sad but a little happy at the same time . Sad because it HAPPENED and Smile because even then I did not stop trying till the end and it was her own sabotage which forced me to take action.  But what I am talking about here is as how I saw signs of h

  The society has brainwashed us in confusing attachment with love . You fall in love instantly . After talking to someone for months , you actually act out of investment you have made in them and take that as love but it's not really love . In my eyes , when I meet a girl or even talk to her its an instant thing . You don't know will you marry that person or not later but even without knowing them completely you see potential . This could be the ONE at least the thought crosses your mind . And when you think later you know that first talk was different , something new happened and it can become fantastic . That is what you think upon and stay committed .   The reason why many of the relationships do not reach full potential is because one or both partners have not healed from fears from past relationship . She is still not completely out of it , has still not become vulnerable enough for new hurt and joy and will end up ruining the best guy she ever met who touched her heart ,

 On this New day of the new year . I want to write about something which troubled me a lot in the year 2019 and till the Month of March 2020 . By June I thought I am completely over it to only get hit by again in November . But by now I knew exactly what was going on rather than being absolutely clueless about this subject like I was back in the day .  This is something which can particularly be very frustrating . Especially when it comes from someone you are close to like your partner but even in a corporate setup it can be very awful feeling to have . So , in my case I was with a narcissistic partner and if you have not been with one , let me tell you it's really a nerve wracking . Narcissistic people are very much into as they call it "Reward sensitive" or a better name is "Dopamine junkies". Healthy person on the other hand have the power to delay gratification whereas they look for instant hit . I don't know if Narcissists can delay the response but in