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When you find out - Betrayed

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Betrayal is probably the most devastating loss a person can experience. To be betrayed, the person must first experience trust in the betrayer. It is fairly impossible for you to be betrayed if you did not trust the individual in the first place. Therefore, the definition of betrayal involves the act of someone violating your trust in them. The betrayal I am discussing in this article refers to a spouse being betrayed when their partner just cheats. Betrayal is when someone you trust lies to you, cheats on you, abuses you, or hurts you by putting their own self-interest first. In my case, the entire selfishness of her for using me to satisfy her own ego to move on from her past was just a shocker. The reason that betrayal is the most devastating kind of loss is that most often it is a loss that didn't have to occur. It only occurs because of someone's deliberately hurtful behaviour, carelessness, or their own personal weakness. Unlike a loss such as death or illness, there is ...

Why I end up attracting Toxic People

 Let me start with a little message here. Guys, I love the messages and emails you write to me for articles and your opinions and well wishes. But at the same time please do remember, I am not a writer. I write when I feel like it. I am not doing this to make money or for fame. I have a full-time job which I really love. And the real reason why I am not able to devote time to this blog and give you articles at the pace many of you desire. But Thank-You for the love.  Let's start now.  I have had my share of the Romantic relationships in life. When I actually did make the list of all while sitting in the airport lounge recently, I was shocked.  The entire analysis changed my perspective and I remembered what my therapist had told me. The problem is not that relationships did not work out because all of them had something missing. Nobody is perfect and I too did few things and lack few traits. But the real reason was that most of the exes were just toxic people.  ...

I want a partner who is feminine and submissive

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  When it comes to power in romantic relationships, men are often cast as dominant and women as deferential. But working against this are caricatures of domineering women with their “hen-pecked husbands” and “whipped boyfriends.”  I can already tell some of you want to leave the page. This article, however, is not exactly what you think it is. After all, who wants to be submissive, following someone else’s rule these days? Before you give up on this, hear me out. Read on. I am not a feminist. I do not believe that this word should be given any importance in the modern world of today. Feminism was needed back in the day but not anymore. You women have got so much more than you wanted that today the men need empowerment. Laws are with you, Quotas are for you, police is for you and even sympathy is with you. Finding a feminine and submissive woman today who smells good is like finding a needle in a haystack. We need nothing more . But it's really so so hard today.  Most wome...

Letter to my Future Partner

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  I remember all of it like yesterday. I was introduced to a girl by my friend. A girl she met at a wedding function. She told her about me and me about her and gave us the phone numbers. Our first phone call lasted for 1hr 28mins. The texts kept happening and a day later which was a Friday, we decided to meet. I reached on time as punctuality is actually one of my good things. I parked my car and called her to know where she is. To my surprise, she was standing right parallel to me. A slim,fit girl wearing a yellow Top with specs. Oh Man! she looked pretty.  We walked towards each other and shook hands. Said Hi and started walking. She said, she is not that hungry but god knows how I was. But to keep it light, I took her to this so-called healthy cafe. Interesting place where everything on the menu had calorie count written next to it. And that is how it all started. Now, who would have thought that this romantic story would become an absolute nightmare for me? Refusing to se...

Ready to Love Again

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On this valentine's day, I asked myself a question, "Can I love again?". Putting yourself out there again can be challenging, especially if it’s been a long time since your last romantic relationship. And sometimes you may not have moved on completely after a breakup. Trying to love again is a courageous act. It can take even more courage if your past relationship was bad or challenging. Taking the time to heal from this experience and learning to express your thoughts and feelings will help as you recover from this loss. While everyone reacts to a break-up differently, everyone does become a little wiser. For someone like me, who was in a mentally abusive relationship or worse if it was physical abusive it can be a scary thought. Grief is a normal response to loss. Most people associate grief with the death of a friend or loved one. However, any change in circumstances or relationships can trigger a grief response. It's normal to feel sadness and question things, es...

When The Narc. wants you to Leave

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The Narc. Will do absolutely anything to make you leave. This article is basically for anyone who is in a narcissistic relationship or actually dealt with one. It’s very important that the world is educated on this subject. And I am just trying to do my bit. Even if 1 soul gets some benefit from my experience, I will be happy. Nobody deserves to go through such abuse.  When you are in this relationship, sometimes the narc. does find out that you have seen the real face. The face behind all the façade. The real entity. But they don’t have the guts themselves to end it. In such cases, they purposely stay in these relationships. Not to save it but make you do it. They will purposely make it a living hell for you. They will start doing all those things you hate. They will increase the abuse by 10 times. Be it gaslighting, manipulating, lies, all these types of things. The emotional, mental and in some cases even physical abuse increases tremendously. The narc. even if they want to g...

Why Leaving a Narc. is Difficult

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I hardly open up to details of my relationship. But when I go on, the one question which everyone asks is, "what took you so long?".  The average understanding of these narcissistic relationships is really low. The reason for being in it for so long is not a simple answer. My own shortcomings, past, my nature, me trusting her blindly, Love, etc, etc.  But why I ended up leaving was due to being in a place of forever frustration, exasperation, fear, confusion. These are not healthy states to be in. And this as well was addressed by my doctor. As I was in denial that I am in this state because of the woman I love and stay under the same roof with. Whom I share my bed with and to whom I am committed for life.  Ending a relationship is difficult. If both of you are healthy individuals then maybe both of you can acknowledge it and end it amicably. Both of them will feel the hurt, pain but then would somewhere be thankful to each other for all the good times. But in a narcissis...