Posts

Keep That Spark Alive

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"Keep That Spark Alive"; that is exactly what every couple decides and want to do before they actually make promises with one another to stay together  Forever & ever. But what happens is the exact opposite to it . One of them or worse both stop trying and it is dead before they even know it .  One can be a narcissistic individual as well, like in my case where whatever you do is not actually appreciated and you are told that you just cannot do anything right. Leading to the ultimate chaos of saying that,' we are not compatible" and legalities are filed. Guys usually face the music in such a case where the Girl asks for alimony or like mine did for extortion money. It can also be a girl who is mentally, physically harassed by the guy and it just turns ugly.  The Spark is those butterflies which you get in your stomach when his/her name shows up on your mobile screen . You have that smile on your face for nothing and in all your conversations with your friends him...

Caring ! Have I lost my real self In process to self-love ?

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What makes someone hard-hearted? Maybe they grew up with “hard” parents who never showed love or affection. They could've had difficult circumstances throughout life and developed a shell to avoid any further hurt or critique. Perhaps they feel unloved and unwanted and therefore need to shield themselves from anything that could be hurtful. Or they could be  brainwashed —i.e., affiliated with a religious group or political party that teaches people not to think for themselves, and instead adopt and continually validate a certain viewpoint. Being the soft-hearted one can be a difficult burden to bear. In many cases, the harder person is also a  narcissist ; very self-involved and self-interested. You might try and get them to care somehow by crying, or ranting, or yelling or threatening, and they will merely say, “Stop attacking me” or “Stop your haranguing." They are masterful at deflecting, and in your vain attempts to get them to care, you will often find...

Am I scared .....

 Its 1:30 AM and I have somehow managed to calm it down but it really is not the way. Am I scared? Scared to be in a new relationship. To be with someone again. To love someone the way I did in the past by literally dancing each day as it going to be no tomorrow.   I really don't know if I am scared. But am I worried! Maybe I am. I am a little worried that my own self will jeopardize this new seed I have sown even before it has become into a small little plant. Growing it into a giant tree who will give me lifelong of riped fruit will be nothing but just a distant dream. I am worried about that.  I lost myself earlier because I loved someone more than myself and today when I learned to love myself back, I just completely forgot the balance in a relationship which needs to be maintained. I know her likes, I know her dislikes but still, somehow I say it and realise in that swift second back that I have made a mistake but the point is, what you have said, it cannot be t...

Rage

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  Just another angry rant to release my anger. Written in Oct2019. This all actually came true on 1st Nov. approx. time was 10:40AM.  One of the biggest mistakes I made was to believe that I will fill the void she has from her past relationships and Childhood. Some people just fear when they see too much love around and just can't accept that it's all true.  This is also the time when I was diagnosed with "situational depression". The term I had never heard before. It took months of self-healing and sessions before I became normal. From Aug2019-Nov2019, I went through several therapy sessions to move from it. I can never forget the amazing people who helped me understand the situation and the person I was dealing with. They made me even better than I was before I met her. It was only through this, I could open to my parents and people around me to talk and find a way to end it. Toxic people have toxicity all around them. Them having similar friends, similar parents is...

Love you More than my Hometown

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First attempt at writing a song . Its a message to the girl who /if will come next .    The way you have a best friend, I want us to be, Our families will be routing for us like we are a home team  Most likely to say, "yes" and settle down.  Listen and don't frown. Make a Family and grow some Plants around  But we can't stop hearing all those strange world sounds And livin' our real lives is what we are really bound.  This will sound fair I know that you are scared and nervous for all people and lights I don't blame you for your immediate stress up and literally loss of sight At the same time your bags are packed up and you are ready to go  But I just need  you to know  I promise to love you more than I do my Favorite Football Club, Love you more than the chilled beer at the pub, Love you more than any other thing I have it around.  How does that sound ? Will Love you more than I do to my bed or Mark Walberg does to TED  More than y...

Dreamin' - New Love

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 You can call , you can call on me, You can fall, you can fall on me,  A little bit annoying but make everything going, It's just the way I am and I am what I am doing.  Thirty Four, spinning all through town. Sometimes windows up, sometimes down. It is a sure fun ride with me on your right, Not worried about nothin' nor worried about daylight  Soon we will hit the Hills,  The drive will be an absolute Thrill  And you look great in your dress of frills The long days and long nights, we will sit by and watch fireflies, Music playlist playin' through Bluetooth  And stars above as our roof I can pretty much get used to this  Dreamin each day of nothin' and soaking up the summer  Only & Only if you are Up for it from Moonlight to Sunshine 

Fraud, Liar , Cheater

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  Would you care if we quit talking? Would you care if I went walking? I need to know how you feel So I know how to deal. I like it when you're by my side. I hate it when you try to hide All the cheating and the lies Bring me one step closer to saying goodbye. I know fraud is a fact because I've caught you and family in the act. I wish did not have trust in you, but it's kinda hard when I busted you. Seems to me you wouldn't care even if I weren't there. I always wonder who you're with, maybe friends or searching for another dick. I'm not saying I don't believe you. Too many people have told me to leave you, but you were everything to me, which is why I always wanted us to be. Believing you may be a mistake, but it's a risk I was willing to take. You lied from 1st day to the last, I got to know 4 days into marriage but I did not cast. I gave all I could but you were the one who was stuck in the past Never let the air come and help our relationship ma...